


Palasquad

by LogicallyLogan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Group chat, Mentions of Sex, Nothing too inappropriate, Palasquad, mentioned daddy kink, tags will be added as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-23 22:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17088635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LogicallyLogan/pseuds/LogicallyLogan
Summary: Pidge makes a Palasquad group chat and it goes about as well as you would expect.What the Paladins text each other.More characters will probably be addedThis work was inspired by angryjane's work This Is So Sad, Paladins Form Voltron. Gonna be completely honest, I didn't finish this work. It was great and I recommend checking it out, there were just some reasons I couldn't finish it but I'm not gonna get into that. If you like this you should go check out their work as well :)





	1. We All Knew

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [This is So Sad Paladins Form Voltron](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16280471) by [angryjane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angryjane/pseuds/angryjane). 



> Don't @ my ships. I know about season 8, okay. Let me dream. 
> 
> Really, though, I hope you guys enjoy!

Pidge added Shiro, Keith, Lance, and Hunk to the group.

Pidge changed Hunk's name to Hunky Monkey

Pidge changed Lance's name to Loverboy 

Pidge changed Keith's name to Kogay 

Pidge changed Shiro's name to Space Daddy 

Pidge changed their name to Pidgeotto

Pidgeotto named the group Palasquad 

Loverboy: What

Hunky Monkey: What

Space Daddy: What

Kogay: Why 

Loverboy: Dude! 

Hunky Monkey: You ruined it! 

Space Daddy: Why are we in a group chat? 

Pidgeotto: I miss you guys 

Loverboy: We are literally in the same building? 

Pidgeotto: In seperate rooms? 

Loverboy: Right down the hall? 

Kogay: Why are you asking things you already know? 

Loverboy: Wow 

Pidgeotto: Wow 

Hunky Monkey: I'm trying to take a nap

Space Daddy: I don't believe I gave any of you permission to call me daddy 

Loverboy: Oh, right, only Matt can call him that

Space Daddy: Excuse me? 

Pidgeotto: EW EW EW 

Pidgeotto: NAME IS BEING CHANGED 

Pidgeotto: EW 

Pidgeotto changed Shiro's name to Definitely Not Screwing My Brother 

Loverboy changed Shiro's name to Definitely Screwing Pidge's Brother 

Pidgeotto: Listen I created this chat to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

Definitely Screwing Pidge's Brother: I don't think what Matt and I do on our own time is chat group talk

Pidgeotto: I agree! 100%! Let's never speak of it again!

Definitely Screwing Pidge's Brother: How do I chanhe my name? 

Definitely Screwing Pidge's Brother: Change 

Pidgeotto: Chanhe 

Loverboy: Chanhe 

Hunky Monkey: Chanhe 

Kogay: What's happening?

Pidgeotto changed Shiro's name to Chanhe 

Kogay: I'm confuse 

Kogay: Confused 

Loverboy changed Keith's name to Confuse 

Loverboy: As you wish, Confuse 

Chanhe: I think they're making fun of our typos

Confuse: That seems rude 

Hunk changed their name to Trying To Sleep 

Pidgeotto: Come sleep in my room 

Trying To Sleep: But it's so far 

Pidgeotto: Then I'm coming to yours 

Pidgeotto: Open up 

Loverboy: No fair. No one cuddles me when I sleep 

Trying To Sleep: Who says we're cuddling?

Pidgeotto: I say 

Trying To Sleep: Fair enough 

Trying To Sleep: I'm muting this 

Loverboy: Not fair! Who do I cuddle?!

-

[Pidgey Pie > Hunky]

Pidgey Pie: Like he's not already cuddling Keith 

Hunky: Tea 

\- 

[Palasquad]

Confuse: I like to cuddle

Confuse: Wrong chat

Confuse: I don't cuddle 

\- 

[Pidgey Pie > Hunky] 

Pidgey Pie: Tea?! 

Hunky: Tea! 

-  
[Mullet > Pretty Boy]

Pretty Boy: Smooth move 

Mullet: I still like to cuddle 

Pretty Boy: Then get in here 

-

[Palasquad]

Pidgeotto changed Keith's name to Likes To Cuddle 

Pidgeotto: @Likes To Cuddle and @Loverboy enjoy your cuddling 

Likes To Cuddle: Who says that was meant for Lance? 

Loverboy: Yeah?! Why would I want to cuddle a Mullet?! 

Trying To Sleep: Defensive much? 

Loverboy: No! And I thought you muted us 

Trying To Sleep: Couldn't miss the tea 

Likes To Cuddle: Who has tea? 

Pidgeotto: Oh, honey 

Pidgeotto: So behind on your slang 

Trying To Sleep changed Keith's name to Who Has Tea 

Chanhe: Can someone change my name please? 

Chanhe: Pidge, Matt says hi 

Pidgeotto: Um, hi? 

Trying To Sleep: Shirt has to get his cuddles too, Pidgey 

Loverboy: Shirt 

Pidgeotto: Shirt 

Pidgeotto changed Shiro's name to Shirt 

Shirt: Why am I a shirt? 

Trying To Sleep: Because autocorrect doesn't think your name is real

Shirt: I feel like I should be offended

Loverboy: So should we tell them

Loverboy: Shit wrong chat

-

[Mullet > Pretty Boy]

Mullet: Talk about a smooth move 

Pretty Boy: Shut up 

Mullet: Make me 

Pretty Boy: Don't tempt me ;) 

Mullet: ... what is ;) 

Pretty Boy: Seriously? 

Pretty Boy: It's a wink 

Pretty Boy: ;) 

Mullet: I don't see it 

Pretty Boy: Just answer the question 

Mullet: You tell them 

\- 

[Palasquad] 

Loverboy: Hey guys 

Loverboy: I have to tell you guys something 

Pidgeotto: Tea? 

Who Has Tea: Seriously why do you keep asking for tea? It's in the kitchen 

Loverboy: ... wow I don't think I want to tell them anymore 

Who Has Tea: Why not? 

Pidgeotto: Just spill the damn tea! 

Shirt: Language 

Pidgeotto: Is that a Dad Voice™ I hear? 

Loverboy: That was a total Dad Voice™ 

Pidgeotto: I guess I should watch my language

Pidgeotto: Wouldn't want to end up in time out 

Shirt: Why would I put you in time out? 

Who Has Tea: Are we telling them? Or are we drinking tea? 

Loverboy: Oh right! 

Loverboy: Guys 

Loverboy: Keith and I are dating 

Pidgeotto: 

Pidgeotto: We know 

Shirt: Yeah, everyone knows 

Loverboy: What?!

Loverboy: How does everyone know? 

Loverboy: We were so secretive...

Pidgeotto: "Secretive" 

Shirt: Matt says he knew too 

Who Has Tea: Well, this was anti-climactic 

Loverboy: Why didn't you guys say anything? 

Pidgeotto: We knew you would tell us when the time was right

Loverboy: Why isn't Hunk responding

Loverboy: Did Hunk know

Pidgeotto: Hunk fell asleep

Pidgeotto: But yes he knew 

Pidgeotto named the group We All Knew 

Loverboy: Wow 

Who Has Tea: What even is a Pidgeotto 

Pidgeotto: ...

Loverboy: ... 

Loverboy: Keith and I are no longer dating 

Who Has Tea: Wow 

Loverboy: WAIT, KEITH, COME BACK! 

Loverboy: Guys he left 

Loverboy: Someone make him come back 

Shirt: I don't get involved in other people's relationships 

Loverboy: Shiro, you literally set us up 

Pidgeotto: OHHHHH 

Pidgeotto changed Shiro's name to Matchmaker 

Matchmaker: Only because you two don't know how to express your feelings like adults 

Pidgeotto: Damn is this a call out post

Matchmaker: Language 

Pidgeotto: Shit, sorry 

Pidgeotto: Wait no 

Matchmaker: Wow 

\- 

[Mullet > Pretty Boy] 

Pretty Boy: Come back! 

Pretty Boy: I miss you 

Mullet: I just left 

Mullet: I'm getting a drink 

Pretty Boy: If you come back I'll make it worth your while ;) 

Mullet: Oh! 

Mullet: Now I see the winking face 

Pretty Boy: ... I don't know why I put up with you 

Mullet: Is it because you love me? 

Pretty Boy: Damn, you cracked the code 

\- 

[We All Knew] 

Loverboy: Keith came back 

Who Has Tea: I'm great at expressing my feelings 

Pidgeotto: ...

Loverboy: ... 

Matchmaker: ... 

Who Has Tea: ...


	2. Stop Talking About My Brother's Sex Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Paladin memeness, now featuring Matty!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I upped the rating because they talk about sex, but it's not too inappropriate I don't think. Just a little mentioned Daddy kink and shit. You know, no biggie. Hope you enjoy!!

Pidgeotto changed Hunks name to Wake Up 

Pidgeotto: @Wake Up 

Pidgeotto: ...

Pidgeotto: I may need help 

Loverboy: @Wake Up 

Pidgeotto: @Wake Up

Loverboy: @Wake Up 

Pidgeotto: @Matchamker @Who Has Tea you guys @ him 

Who Has Tea: ... what? 

Pidgeotto: wow 

Pidgeotto: Type @ and Hunks name 

Matchmaker: Why? 

Pidgeotto: I want him to wake up 

Pidgeotto: I'm hungry 

Matchmaker: Isn't he with you? 

Pidgeotto: Yes, but I think he needs motivation 

Pidgeotto: @Wake Up 

Loverboy: @Wake Up 

Matchmaker: @Wake Up 

Who Has Tea: @Hunk ? 

Pidgeotto: ... thank you for your contribution. I genuinely appreciate your efforts

Loverboy: Hold on, I'll teach him 

Who Has Tea: @Wake Up 

Who Has Tea: @Loverboy is the best boyfriend in the entire universe and across every reality and I love him with all of my heart 

Loverboy: Awe, babe! I'm blushing 

Who Has Tea: Never let Lance have your phone 

Loverboy: I don't know what you mean. That was all you 

Wake Up: I'm awake 

Wake Up: Why am I awake? 

Loverboy: Pidge said she's hungry 

Loverboy: So we helped her out 

Wake Up: I guess I'm making food 

Wake Up: Anyone else hungry? 

Loverboy: See you in the kitchen 

Matchmaker: I could eat 

Matchmaker: Matt said he's hungry too 

Pidgeotto added Matt to the group 

Pidgeotto: This seems easier

Pidgeotto changed Matt's name to Lesser Holt 

Pidgeotto changed their name to Greater Holt 

Greater Holt: Just so we all know 

Lesser Holt changed their name to Greatest Holt 

Greatest Holt: This seems more accurate 

Greater Holt: I will fight you 

Greatest Holt: Bring it on boi boi 

Who Has Tea: I could eat 

Greater Holt: Oh yeah, food 

Greatest Holt: I like food 

Wake Up: Foods ready 

Greater Holt: Foooooood! 

Greatest Holt: Foooooood!

Loverboy: Foooooood! 

Who Has Tea: Foooooood!

Greater Holt: GUYS! 

Greater Holt: Keith did the thing! 

Greater Holt: And did it right! 

Loverboy: I have never been more proud 

Matchmaker: Matt is going to eat all of the food if you guys don't hurry 

Greatest Holt: Don't @ me like this 

Matchmaker: Then stop stealing my food 

Greater Holt: Ohhh call him out 

Greater Holt changed Matt's name to Food Thief 

Greater Holt changed Shiro's name to Call Out King 

Food Thief changed Pidge's name to Rude 

Rude: Rude 

Loverboy changed Pidge's name to Angel Child

Loverboy: Fixed it 

Loverboy: Nevermind 

Loverboy changed Pidge's name to Gremlin 

Gremlin: Oh, calm down 

Loverboy: You bit me?! 

Gremlin: You took my food? 

Wake Up: Yeah, bad move @Loverboy 

Call Out King: Why don't we all just eat off of our own plates?

Loverboy: This is why you're Space Daddy 

Call Out King: I still didn't say you could call me that 

Food Thief: I dunno, I kind of like the sound of it 

Gremlin: Ew ew ew ew ew 

Gremlin: Kill me 

Gremlin: I'm gonna be sick 

Gremlin left the group 

Food Thief: Success 

\- 

[Shiro > Matt] 

Matt changed Shiro's name to Daddy 

Matt: ;) 

Daddy: That's inappropriate 

Daddy: What if someone sees our messages? 

Matt: Then we have a lot more to worry about than just your name 

Matt: Oh, I know 

Matt changed Shiro's name to Captain 

Matt: Is this better? 

Matt: Sir? ;) 

Captain: 

Captain: I'm not so hungry anymore. 

Matt: Right behind you 

Matt: Captain 

Matt: ;) 

\- 

[We All Knew] 

Wake Up: Where did they go? 

Loverboy: Oh, Hunky 

Loverboy: Let me explain 

Loverboy added Pidge to the group 

Loverboy: They have retreated to, I'm assuming, Shiro's room to engage in a wonderful activity we refer to as "Doing It™" 

Pidge: Lance! 

Loverboy: Getting Frisky™

Pidge: Please stop 

Loverboy: Doing the Do™

Pidge: I'm actually going to throw up 

Loverboy: The No Pants Dance™

Pidge changed their name to Scarred For Life 

Loverboy: Bumping Uglies™

Who Has Tea: Why don't you just say they're having sex? 

Loverboy: alsjfjkajakfjlakalkflxfkshanb 

Loverboy: KEITH! 

Loverboy: Not in front of the child! 

Scarred For Life: It's okay, I've already killed myself 

Wake Up: Great going, @Loverboy, you killed my girlfriend 

Wake Up changed Lance's name to Girlfriend Killer 

Girlfriend Killer changed Hunk's name to #1 Chef 

#1 Chef: ... 

#1 Chef: You are forgiven 

Scarred For Life: I'm literally dead, Hunk 

Scarred For Life: Don't forgive him 

Scarred For Life named the group Stop Talking About My Brother's Sex Life 

Scarred For Life changed their name to Innocent Child

Innocent Child changed Lance's name to Perv 

Perv: Hey, I'm not the one doing your brother 

Innocent Child: No, but you keep talking about it! 

Who Has Tea: Wait, Lance explained this to me 

Who Has Tea: Tell me if I get this right 

Who Has Tea: ... That's the tea 

Who Has Tea: I feel so stupid. Why is that a thing? 

Innocent Child: !!!!!!!

Perv: !!!!!!! 

#1 Chef: !!!!!!!

Who Has Tea: Did I say it wrong? 

Innocent Child: No, you did great! 

Perv: I'm so proud 

Perv: I'm literally crying 

Who Has Tea: We can all see you 

Who Has Tea: We know you're crying 

#1 Chef changed Keith's name to That's The Tea 

#1 Chef: There is hope for you yet, young padawan 

That's The Tea: Star Wars reference? 

#1 Chef: !!!!!!! 

Perv: My love has learned so much from our memeasses 

Perv: I am still so proud

That's The Tea: I'm not sure I want a perv to be proud of me 

Perv: Ew is that still my name

Perv changed their name to Meme King 

Meme King: That's better 

Meme King changed Pidge's name to Gremlin 

Meme King: This is still accurate 

Gremlin: I'll show you a gremlin 

Meme King: Someone tell me when she calms down so I can stop hiding 

That's The Tea: Let him hide forever


End file.
